Lil’ Johnny Pukey Pants: The dangers of rushing

One of my earliest memories is not a happy one. It’s 1985 and I’m a Kindergarten student at Chepstow Elementary School. A fellow student of mine just barfed at the back of the classroom. A lot. Mrs. Long takes a box out of one of the cupboards and sprinkles its powdery contents over the pond of puke. I fail to realize at the time that it’s an absorbent powder designed to help with the clean-up.

Mrs. Long leaves the vomit for later and turns her attention back to the class. I pray Johnny Pukey Pants doesn’t sit next to me during Reading Circle.

Even at such a young age I know the joy of the recess bell. When it rings, I’m ready. Bolting from my chair I make a mad dash for the door. The rest of the kids can eat my dust.

A few steps from the exit my feet suddenly fly out from under me. I land with an audible SPLAT, knocking my breath out. It’s immediately clear what has happened. I’m lying in Pukey Pants’ regurgitated breakfast.

Too embarrassed to tell Mrs. Long, I clamber to my feet and dash out the door. The rest of the day is spent covered in barf.

Moral of the Story: The more you rush, the more mistakes you’ll make. Slow down. No matter how rushed your day seems, take time to step back and get your head on straight. Whether it’s having a coffee break, taking a walk around the block at lunch or taking a nap, pausing now and again will help ensure you don’t wind up on your back in a puddle of puke.

When has rushing gotten you in trouble?


Funny stories. Good advice. Check out my books, “Simple(ton) Living: Lessons in balance from life’s absurd moments.” and “Balancing Priorities and Prioritizing Balance”. Click here to learn more and to purchase a copy. Thanks!

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4 Responses to Lil’ Johnny Pukey Pants: The dangers of rushing

  1. Rob Rubin says:

    Nice post. The funniest thing that happened to me, and I swear it’s the honest truth, was one day I was rushing to leave for work and I literally forgot to put my pants on. I left my apartment and got into my car wearing a dress shirt and boxers – WITH shoes on…go figure. Thankfully, I corrected the mistake before I got to work and got arrested for public lewdness.

    Rob, The Mainland

  2. Betty Jo says:

    Josh I found you through your awesome guest post at “be more with less”. I’m so glad you are well today. My last name is Martin too. Love your writing and your humor. Your guest post inspired me to start a Friday Faves on my new blog, sharing posts I find interesting with links. I’ll be linking to your article tomorrow.

    I can’t recall rushing getting me into trouble, although I’m sure it has. In high school I worked half day as a bookkeeper. My oh-so-wise employer put a sign on my desk, “The Hurrier I Go, The Behinder I Get!” So obviously at that age I was a hurrier.

    • Thanks Betty Jo! Always great to meet other Martins 🙂 Thanks so much for linking to my blog! That’s awesome. And I absolutely love the “The Hurrier I Go, The Behinder I Get” sign – I’m definitely stealing that one!

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